[英超传声筒]MD1 赛季揭幕齐开花，唯有厂子在尴尬

[–]【曼联】buddyhollybenhur 4434 points 1 day ago 

If only they had Auba and Laca. They would have had two more players with their hands on their hips.

如果美羊羊和拉卡泽特能出场就好了。这样他们就能多两名球员一起来叉腰。

[–]【切尔西】MaryadaPurshottam 1042 points 1 day ago 

Sir, that's a violation.

先生，您这是赤裸裸的冒犯。

[–]DCilantro 433 points 1 day ago 

Auba driving his gold lambo around pure laughing right now. Hilarious contract

美羊羊这会儿正开着他那辆金色兰博基尼笑得别提多欢了。这合同简直滑天下之大稽。

[–]【莱斯特城】Bobskidat 7424 points 1 day ago4362 

How the Premier League table has changed throughout the game

本场揭幕战之后，英超积分榜变化如下

[–]【切尔西】Hominek 2558 points 1 day ago 

Impressive consistency from Villa there

维拉稳得一匹

[–]【阿斯顿维拉】AstonVanilla 1019 points 1 day ago 

Hopefully we keep up this form for the next 38 games

希望我们接下来的38轮都能保持这样的状态

[–]【比利时】prophecy0091 292 points 1 day ago 

Thank you Arsenal - says everyone

多谢厂子——其他球队

[–]【沃特福德】IsaacNoSuccess 1688 points 1 day ago 

STOP THE COUNT!

停止计票！（此处戏仿川普语录）

[–]【热刺】fratastic1865[🍰] 300 points 1 day ago 

I’m fine with 16th if it guarantees Arsenal’s relegation. It would be like a FM cheat mode in real life

如果能确保阿森纳降级的话，那我刺排在第16也没关系。感觉就像FM的作弊模式照进了现实。

[–]【韦康比流浪者】chdudlow 5790 points 1 day ago 

Being sung "you're fucking shit" by a team that hasn't been in the top flight for eight decades must sting a bit for Arsenal fans! They were shite to be fair though.

被一支阔别顶级联赛近80年的球队球迷唱小曲儿“你们简直是一坨翔”，阿森纳球迷想必很扎心吧！当然，枪手今天的表现确实有够翔。

[–]【阿森纳】ethyweethy 2632 points 1 day ago 

We feel no emotions anymore. There is only numbness

我们已经莫得感情了。唯一残存的只有麻木。

[–]【阿森纳】JEPerezmemeguy 861 points 1 day ago* 

I feel Anger, Sadness and a general feeling of Helplesness guess I haven't suffered enough yet to get to the numbness stage yet

Edit: Just got a note from my mom, they rejected me in the university I was hoping to get in.

Im not allowed to be happy am i

Edit 2: feelin a bit better now thanks for the replies guys, but im definivetly not watching any arsenal match for a while

我的心中充满愤怒、悲哀和无奈，估计是我受的折磨还不够深，还没达到麻木的境界

编辑1：我妈给我捎了个信儿，说我申报的大学把我给拒了。看来天注定我跟快乐无缘，不是吗

编辑2：我现在好点儿了，感谢那些回复我的朋友们，但我短时间内肯定不会再看阿森纳的比赛了

[–]just_dew_eat 5492 points 1 day ago 

Arsenal's All or Nothing documentary will be released on Amazon Prime under Comedy

纪录片《孤注一掷：阿森纳》即将登陆亚马逊会员频道，分类为喜剧

[–]【狼】PakiIronman 1324 points 1 day ago 

They'll only release the good moments, so it'll be around a half hour long.

他们只会放出其中积极一面的部分，所以片长大概也就半小时吧。

[–]【切尔西】Nature__Boy 958 points 1 day ago 

3 hours. Their two wins versus Chelsea in full then roll credits

怎么也得3小时啊。包含他们取胜切尔西的两场比赛，然后就是片尾名单。

[–]【阿森纳】willtodd 230 points 1 day ago 

Arsenal chooses "Nothing"

阿森纳在片中扮演“孤”

[–]【布莱顿】Sdub4 1201 points 1 day ago 

Unfortunately for Arsenal, our returns policy is only one week so they are ineligible for a refund on Ben White

对阿森纳来说不幸的是，我方退货政策有效期仅为一周，所以本-怀特这笔交易无法退款了。

[–]SonaldoNazario 625 points 1 day ago 

They'll need to find him first, invisible

就算要退，先也得找着人啊，这哥们完全隐身了

[–]OhNoItsDominoes 535 points 1 day ago 

I thought Brighton fans were kidding when they said he was only their third best defender last season. Yes he can ping a lovely pass but he was so easily bullied all game by Toney. Not what you want from your 50 million marque-signing centre-back. I fear Lukaku, Kane and the like will eat him for lunch.

布莱顿球迷说怀特上赛季在球队后卫里只能排第三时，我还以为他们在开玩笑。他的确可以传出一些不错的传球，但整场下来他被对方的托尼压制得也太没脾气了点。5000万天价买来的中后卫，这表现可跌份啊。接下来将要面对的卢卡库和凯恩等人，分分钟能把怀特生吞活剥了。

[–]JimbobSherwin 2442 points 14 hours ago 

Every time I come to peace with Pogba leaving, HE PULLS ME BACK IN

每当我好不容易接受博格巴要离队的现实时，他总能来一出柳暗花明又一村

[–]【曼联】TheLifeofSonny 2012 points 14 hours ago 

Always knew it was the shitty Chevrolet sponsorship that was holding us back

我就说是那个雪佛兰胸前破广告拖累我魔的嘛

[–]【越南】pakiet96 739 points 14 hours ago 

TeamViewer Masterclass

TeamViewer永远滴神

（译注：TeamViewer为知名远程控制软件，该公司为曼联新胸前广告赞助商）

[–]【索马里】abibyama 252 points 14 hours ago* 

Does that mean this is Van de Beek’s season to shine?

这么说，范德贝克这赛季即将焕发新生？

（译注：Team Viewer直译为球队观望者，正好契合一直枯坐板凳看球的范德贝克）

[–]IspitchTownFC 230 points 14 hours ago 

That logo was hideous.

雪佛兰那个LOGO当时看起来丑到爆。

[–]siralexfergufan 114 points 14 hours ago 

It still is hideous. If I could afford to, I’d have thrown out the jerseys I have in my closet.

现在看着也丑。老子要不是穷，早就把那一版的球衣给扔了。

[–]Vinaceous9 203 points 14 hours ago 

We had martial & sancho off the bench at 5-1 up, with rashford and cavani to join the squad soon. What an embarassment of attacking riches

我们在5-1领先时替补席还能遣出马夏尔和桑乔，拉什福德与卡瓦尼随后也会归队。进攻好手如云，真是幸福的烦恼。

[–]ITLKN5 51 points 9 hours ago 

Feels like the first time we've had so many attacking options since the Ronaldo, Rooney, Tevez and Berba era

感觉这是我魔自C罗、鲁尼、特维斯和贝巴时代之后，头一次拥有这么丰富的进攻端选择。

[–]【尤文图斯】CheekyFifaCunt_7 934 points 14 hours ago 

Pogba and Bruno masterclass

博格巴和布鲁诺-费尔南德斯，牛掰格拉斯

[–]【曼联】OuchYouPokedMyHeart 451 points 14 hours ago 

Bruno woke up today and chose violence

B费今早起来决定选择狠人模式

[–]【曼联】imsahoamtiskaw 170 points 14 hours ago 

That's Pruno to you good sir!

请称呼博鲁诺！

[–]【曼联】ory1994 180 points 14 hours ago 

I prefer Brogba

我更喜欢布格巴

[–]_WonderStruck_17 348 points 14 hours ago 

-Announced Varane

-Bruno hat trick of goals

-Pogba assist quadruple

-Fred and Greenwood scoring

Only negative is that we conceded one, but who cares, we won. Great day for us today.

-瓦拉内官宣

-B费帽子戏法

-博格巴助攻大四喜

-弗雷德和青木进球

美中不足是我们丢了个球，不过谁在乎呢，赢了就好。今天对我们来说是个好日子。

[–]【曼联】hrkhardik 123 points 11 hours ago 

I bet De Gea secretly cares a lot about his clean sheet being dirty

我打赌德赫亚还是蛮在乎的，毕竟零封奖金没了

[–]【曼联】DrDetox 59 points 10 hours ago 

Of course he does, he knows he got Hendo breathing down his neck.

他当然在乎啊，亨德森就贴着他后脊梁等上位呢。

[–]【曼联】AE17__ 1257 points 14 hours ago 

I overslept and missed 5 goals. Woke up just in time to watch Fred score, that's when I knew I missed a belter.

我睡过头了，错过了5个进球。醒来刚好赶上看到弗雷德进球，当时我就知道好戏已经演完了。

[–]【爱尔兰】Snowstandards 767 points 14 hours ago 

Please sleep during all our matches

恳请您在我们接下来所有比赛期间都安然入梦。

[–]【埃斯比约联合】joyuser 277 points 14 hours ago 

It's impossible not to sleep when Ireland plays.

看爱尔兰比赛哪还有睡不着的道理

[–]【爱尔兰】Snowstandards 143 points 14 hours ago 

In fact it's the best time to sleep. If you're ever suffering from insomnia then I can link you to some Ireland v Denmark match highlights

事实上那可是睡觉的绝佳时机。如果您曾经遭受失眠的困扰，请允许向您推荐爱尔兰对丹麦的比赛集锦。

[–]【曼联】testbug0 36 points 14 hours ago 

Someone get this guy a lifetime supply of Zolpidem

来人，给层主提供终生份量的唑吡坦（催眠药）

[–]【哈特福德竞技】carlosd141 482 points 10 hours ago 

Salah is PL 2 goals off 100 and 6 off Drogba’s record for top scoring African

萨拉赫离英超百球只差2球，离德罗巴保持的非洲球员进球纪录也只差6球

[–]【罗切斯特犀牛】PM_Me_ULURP_Apps 139 points 9 hours ago 

Also five goals away from cracking the top 10 of the Liverpool all-time goalscorers list: https://www.lfchistory.net/Stats/PlayerGoalscorers

而且，他距离跻身利物浦队史得分手前十只差5球（附查询页面）

[–]ZaDoruphin 113 points 10 hours ago 

Surprised he hasn’t done it already tbh.

什么？我还以为他早就达成这一壮举了呢。

[–]【爱尔兰】SEND-MARS-ROVER-PICS 370 points 9 hours ago* 

Drogba made 254 PL, appearances Salah has 158

德罗巴的英超出场数为254场，而萨拉赫截止到目前是158场

[–]【利物浦】Tiigaaa 409 points 10 hours ago 

Felt like Tsimikas was pretty good today aside from a few lapses of concentration that I'm sure they'll go over. Really good runs and good link up.

感觉齐米卡斯表现还是蛮好的，尽管有几次注意力不集中，但我相信他以后会有所改善。跑位与连接都做得很好。

[–]【利物浦】Thesolly180 198 points 10 hours ago 

Definitely, I think he was fine. The lapses in concentration were just to be expected with this being his first proper run out.

Happy with him as back up

肯定的，他踢得很棒。注意力不集中在所难免，毕竟是首次正式亮相嘛。

有他作为后备真不错。

[–]【特兰米尔流浪者】VinceRussoShoots 74 points 10 hours ago 

Excellent crosses too, definitely just a step or two below Robertson and TAA in that regard which means they were still superb

他的传中也很出色，当然这方面他比罗伯逊跟阿德勒*还差不老少，这也说明这二位依然是超一流的

（*勘误：应为阿诺德。感谢@LFCG8 捉虫。）

[–]【利物浦】Coffeemonster97 509 points 11 hours ago 

That save by Allisson at the end was absolute filth..

尾声阶段阿利松的那记扑救把我看湿了……

[–]【里士满踢球者】habdragon08 535 points 11 hours ago 

Three games without a goal from him now tho.

然而他的进球荒已达三场之多。

[–]【罗马】AdamJr87 55 points 10 hours ago 

Send him back?

不如把他送回给我狼？

[–]【英格兰】LFC_Chris 59 points 10 hours ago 

Sure, why don't we just throw in Salah at the same time?

行啊，干脆把萨拉赫一并送回给你们好不咯？

[–]【罗马】AdamJr87 62 points 10 hours ago 

Not trying to be greedy but....If you're offering, I won't say no

做人不能太贪，不过……你们要给的话，我肯定就收着

[–]【利物浦】aroninho 130 points 11 hours ago 

One season wonder

昙花一现罢了

[–]【马瑟韦尔】AjenoMerveilles 665 points 11 hours ago 

Big result for Arsenal, that. Lifts them out of the bottom three.

本场赛果对阿森纳意义重大。力助他们逃出降级区。

[–]Routine-Lengthiness1 226 points 11 hours ago 

They'll be singing in North London tonight

他们今晚会在北伦敦放声欢歌

[–]【利物浦】Furthur_slimeking 41 points 11 hours ago 

Nah, they'll just cry slightly less.

不，他们只是哭得小声了点而已

[–]iM3GTR 8 points 10 hours ago 

Maybe it's drunken cry-singing

也可能是醉后的边哭边唱

[–]【切尔西】shastmak4 252 points 14 hours ago 

The Cobham factory is something serious.

科巴姆工厂（指切尔西训练基地）有点东西哦。

[–]【切尔西】Cowdude179 161 points 14 hours ago 

Yeah its insane, get rid of Tomori and Guehi no problem. We have Chalobah

是啊，太疯狂了，托莫里和格伊卖就卖了。反正我们有查洛巴

[–]【切尔西】WaterCFC 47 points 14 hours ago 

And Levi Colwill.

以及列维-科尔维尔。

[–]【切尔西】honestlynotBG 320 points 10 hours ago 

Chalobah man, what a league debut performance

查洛巴，多么精彩的联赛首秀

[–]Ld511 104 points 10 hours ago 

Has absolutely used every bit possible of the chance he has been given to prove himself. Hope for him it's enough

他尽了一切可能来证明自己。希望今天的表现已经足够证明了。

[–]【切尔西】Soren_Camus1905 10 points 5 hours ago 

It’s Tuchel, the guy has no problem playing the youngsters

要感谢图赫尔，他在使用年轻球员方面非常开明。

[–]pokerface789 13 points 9 hours ago 

Absolute screamer!

绝对令人眼前一亮！

[–]【曼联】Muhsi_77 219 points 10 hours ago 

Pretty straightforward GW1 so far, only real upset has been Watford against Aston Villa

英超第一轮踢到现在都很平铺直叙，也就沃特福德对阿斯顿维拉那场令人失望。

[–]【切尔西】NihilistFinancier 329 points 10 hours ago 

cheers arteta’s crying

哈哈，人家阿尔特塔可哭着呢

[–]【皇马】EatingSexually 103 points 10 hours ago 

Arsenal losing was always going to happen

毕竟阿森纳输球是常态了

[–]【切尔西】NotClayMerritt 42 points 10 hours ago 

We all did see it coming tbf so nobody can really call it a shock result.

我们都能预见他们输球的结果，所以这就不能被叫作冷门了。

[–]ruledoutbyVAR 229 points 10 hours ago 

Who would’ve thought towards the end of last season that Guehi would start against us and Chalobah would start instead for us

He couldn’t have asked for a better PL debut, that celebration got me a bit emotional

上赛季末的时候，谁能预料得到格伊会成为我们的对手，而查洛巴则会为我们首发？

[–]【切尔西】Cowdude179 41 points 10 hours ago 

Just like James vs Lamptey, I never doubt our management

就像詹姆斯vs兰普提的故事一样，我从来不怀疑我车的管理水平

[–]【切尔西】LabMember069 118 points 10 hours ago 

Imagine supporting a club and 10 years later you actually play in it. I kinda envy him ngl.

试想一下，你支持一家俱乐部，而10年后你实实在在可以为这支俱乐部效力。讲真，我都有点嫉妒他了。

[–]SlightlyKarlax 46 points 9 hours ago 

We had 5 players that can through the ranks, and won the CL.

Mason. James. CHO. Tammy. Andreas.

Reckon they all felt like they were living the dream.

我车有5名球员都是这样，并且赢得了欧冠。

芒特、詹姆斯、奥多伊、亚伯拉罕、克里斯滕森。

估计他们自己都觉得自己活在梦里吧。

[–]【切尔西】EcoSoco 138 points 14 hours ago 

A bit greedy, but I wanted a 4th goal there with the chances we created. Can't wait for Lukaku to make his debut

恕我贪心，但基于我们创造的那么多机会，我还是想要第4个进球。等不及看到卢卡库上演首秀了

[–]【切尔西】raymondliang 83 points 14 hours ago 

Havertz deserved something for that cameo appearance, his passing range is insane. Made some great runs too.

哈弗茨本该通过那次客串演出斩获点什么的，他的传球范围实在惊人。而且也有一些很棒的跑位。

[–]【切尔西】ostriike 49 points 14 hours ago 

honestly, the amount of times we get in good crossing positions but have no one to head the ball is frustrating, Lukaku can't come soon enough.

说实在的，有太多次我们拿到了不错的传中机会，结果却没人能头球攻门，看得人没脾气，不由得想让卢卡库早点登场。